So, I stole the chair out of the living room at the end of June. The upholstery is itchy, the color is hideous- this brown polka-dotted print rarely seen outside of doctor's offices. With a new roommate possibly moving in at the end of August, I really didn't want to start off by explaining that I had stolen the chair, violating the lease. (No, really.)
So the search for a chair began! I don't know if you know this, but chairs are expensive.
Really, really expensive. I am not going to pay $400 for something I'm going to sit in. It's just not going to happen. Unless it comes with a roomba, or a pony. Also, furniture sales people are pushy bastards. So I started combing through thrift stores, hitting up all five in the Lubbock area.
Do chairs possess some magic I'm unaware of? I could have happily walked off with a couch for $50. A sectional for $60, a nice leather sofa, barely used, for just under $100. But the single chair any of them had, a sad, leather chair that was, I swear to god, held together with duct tape? $150. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
So, in a fit of, 'fuckitall', Kim suggested I try Sofa Mart, off the loop. We meandered a while- $300 on clearance for a leather chair, missing a whole arm? $700 for an ottoman to a $980 chair, but the couch is merely $410? I'm telling you, chairs are magic. Pure, unadulterated magic is distilled from chair fluff, I swear. So we're heading to leave, giving up on the hunt. I didn't have a totally set budget, buuut.. $300 wasn't going to happen. Not unless it was The Purple Chair's Identical Twin.
There it was. A price tag reading a
mere $237. It was comfortable enough, regular cloth instead of Show Every Handprint Microfiber. But oh, god, it was ugly. So ugly. The yellow was like Dwight Shrute's shirt, a mustard that almost glowed in the harsh lights of the warehouse-style store. It was next to an equally yellow couch. Turning away from the chair, I strode towards the cluster of sales guys, defeat in my voice, "Does it come in any other color?"
No. No it did not. But they'd knock $100 off the price...?
I considered, and then forked over my debit card.
( The Ugly Yellow Chair )